The Hellions were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of assromping danced in their heads
Dork in his Toque and I in my Helmet
Had just settled down with spiked eggnog for merriment

When out near the lava arouse such a clatter
I sprang from the rock saying "What in the Eff is a matter!?"
Away to the window I sprinted like a flash
While Katharos Ombre threw up on his sash

The moon at the crest of our giant volcano
Gave a luster to all the land lay below
When, what to my intoxicated eye should appear
But an evil looking mage and eight bone reindeer

With a boney old driver, so un-lively and quick
I knew Grenth had came, and my was he slick
More rapid than Hellhounds his coursers had came
He roared and bellowed and called them by name

"On Slasher! On Lasher! On Deathdancer and Vile Vixen!
On Rodgort! On Hades! On Jeffery Donner and Blitzkrieg!
To the top of the tower, to the top of the wall!
Now slash away, slash away, slash away all!"

As dry leaves in a hurricane would fly
They met with an obstacle and surmounted the sky
So up to the guild tower those demons they flew
With a sleigh full of Whoknows, and Grenth's slick self too

And then with some crooning, I heard on the roof
each snort, each stomp, of each demonic hoof
As I drew in my head, and was turning around
Down from the chimney Grenth came with a bound

He was dressed in burnt flesh, from his head to his foot
His clothes were all black, was it rotten or soot?
A bundle of something he had flung on his back
He dropped like a prom dress and opened his pack

His eyes how they gleamed! His jaw cocked to seem merry!
His cheeks were non-existant! He looked effing scary!
His demonic little fangs were tied up like a bow
Obscured by his hood, but still he would show

The stump of someone’s finger he held tight in his teeth
He gritted and grinded and spit onto our wreath
He had a broad skull and a rope around his belly
It swayed when he bellowed making me quiver like jelly

He was glowing ominously and tall, a right fearful old God
I tripped as I kneeled and fell on a rod
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon let me know I still have everything to dread

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
Filling the stockings with ecto and then he turned with a jerk
Laying a finger aside of his nose
Giving a nod then up the chimney he rose!